Love is a feeling which is beyond definitions however it also has an order, a system. Every person has a role and place in the system they belong to. When that is not fulfilled or respected other people from the system out of love tries to compensate by reversing roles or find ways to feel recognized. This causes disharmony and imbalance in the system resulting in conflicts and emotional turmoil. The moment the responsibilities are taken up by the assigned or the missing person is recognised, harmony in the system can be re-stored. This is valid for both family and business systems.

Each individual who is born craves to be part of their system, be it the system of life, society, family or organization, they crave to get recognised and accepted, as a result create their life around it. In sphere of physical existence, love is often defined by survival need based attachments. However, in family constellation therapy, which is a trans-generation therapy we often see that love transcends physical existence and at soul level it is ‘recognition’ based love, the need to get ‘acknowledged', the ‘right to belong’ to the system.

The first physical attachment gets created between the sperm of a man and egg of a woman, that results in formation of a life. When these unite it is not only physical union but union of two systems that the man and woman belongs to. Their entire family DNA across generations - physical, psychological, emotional and karmic gets transferred and unite, which later defines the personality of the baby who is born. The baby's soul that comes into existence as result of this union also has it’s own imprints and purpose of life, it chooses to take birth in this family, as it knows that this union would lead to certain experiences - good or bad, that it desires. Question is what carries this information, how does it gets transferred and integrated in a child? Answer is - Morphogenic field or the Knowing Field or the Informing Field that has information about everything that exists or has ever existed. (Biologist Dr.Rupert Sheldrake has done immense work on this field and has made an attempt to describe it in detail. You can google and look for material and youtube videos.)

As mentioned earlier, love is result of survival needs or right to belong. At soul level the baby is given ‘right to belong’ to this system hence it gets attached or develops love for the system, and at physical level it gets attached for it’s survival needs, hence love develops. Slowly as the baby grows the love expands for the world, country, society, organisation etc that gives it space to exist or survive and becomes part of its life system.

Every system has a structure or order that keeps it going. The structure has it’s needs and a balance to maintain to ensure it’s continuity. Every individual who is part of the system has some role to play and contributes in constructing the system, to keep it going. Hence they have right to belong to the system. If anyone fails to fulfil their role, others out of love for the system starts compensating to maintain the balance and ensure continuity, however this leads to imbalance or disharmony. For e.g. in a family system if the father who is considered to be head of the family and is responsible for their survival needs, fails to do so, usually the mother or the children steps up to fulfil the role. However, this disturbs the family system and causes emotional imbalance due to role and authority reversal. The person carrying this additional responsibility feels burdened, drained or agitated as he/she is carrying additional role that does not belong to them and is stopping them from living and enjoying their lives fully. They also start feeling more authoritative and start parenting their parent, as a result stop asking and receiving on emotional levels. Likewise every soul has right to belong to the system and if they are not recognised or acknowledged they try and express them through others. These dynamics can be visible or subtle.

Similar logic is applicable to other systems. An organization or a company has it’s own structure and dynamics, which got created as result of instances between people that have been part of the system. There are few who constructs the base and others who are floating, however all leave a mark on the system. When people leave, it becomes very difficult for their descendants to identify and settle their imprints. It might take years and millions to identify and resolve conflicts or to shift belief systems or behaviours of departments without knowing why they exist. The usual resolution that is adopted is to hire behavioural trainers. However, if people do not follow what the trainers guide them to do, then the training goes waste. The HR heads might show these trainings in their records as x number of trainings were organised and record feedbacks from people, however question is does the shift really happen? The belief or personality of an individual is a combination of various systems that he/she belongs to.

In systemic constellation work, we work with the Morphogenic Field or the Knowing Field of the system. It is possible to simultaneously work across different systems family or business that the person belongs to and integrate them to find a resolution in couple of hours or days. The father of systemic constellation work is a German psychotherapist Bert Hellinger. You can visit my website www.imhappybeingme.in to know more about the process of systemic constellation work and how can family and business constellations help you. Alternatively you can write to me on komal@imhappybeingme.in and we can have a detailed conversation over a cup of coffee!.

About the author:

Komal Agarwal, is a Systemic Constellation Facilitator, she works with family, business and structural constellations. She also practises Clinical Hypnotherapy, Past Life Regression, Pranic Healing and Intuitive Healing. She is founder and CEO of I’m happy being me, objective of which is to guide you in your journey of Self Actualization, to achieve your highest potential.

www.imhappybeingme.in | komal@imhappybeingme.in